Wednesday, August 16, 2006
Gatorbait...video highlights from '93-'96
If you are a Gator fan and these highlights don't give you goosebumps, please get your pulse checked. One's that stick out to us: Wuerful to Doering against UK, Lawerence Wright's hit on Joey Kent and Ike Hilliard's sick move in the National Championship game: enjoy!
Mark May: you will be held accountable
They say that absence makes the heart grow fonder...yeah either that or it makes you really, truly forget how much you hate something.
Take the ESPN college football squad for example: over the last seventy two hours they have been spewing verbal diarrhea about rankings and matchups that are about as substantiated as claims that Nicole Simpson's real killer is still on the loose, Paris Hilton is still a virgin and that Milli Vanilli really sang their songs.
Both May and Milli Vanilli, "Blame it on the Rain, yeaheyeah"
Granted, we understand that prognostication often is as much a part of sports as the games themselves, but we don't understand why such blatant disregard for facts and erroneous predictions should go by the wayside, unpunished. We think fans who have to listen to May talk about the pending upset of their squad because the opposition's coach is a "players coach and their team is getting better and better each week" should, after the obvious annihilation, be allowed to shake his dick at him (ht: Randy Moss...at the bottom) .
WE WANT ACCOUNTABILITY!
When not having man sex with other offensive lineman, May enjoys spewing stupid, unsubstantiated hyperbole. Watch out MM,: we got you in our sights!
So starting this year, we will note all predictions by Mark May (simply because he is the worst) that we feel to have no rhyme or reason and are left unsubstantiated and keep track of his record. Also, if he says something stupid like, "look for FAU to stay on the field with the NFC all-pro team tonight; the Owls 235 pound right guard might be undersized, but he's a mean son of a bitch," we will see how he does against the spread. However, being that we can't follow May at all times, we will leave this open for you. In a few days, this page will be permanently posted in the left column of the blog; please feel free to post all such ridiculous May comments and predictions. It is time for ESPN commentators to be held accountable for their actions.
(update: at the end of the season if we have enough such instances, we will be emailing this entry to ESPN, so make you voices heard)
Wednesday, August 09, 2006
Best Hangover cure ever for Gator fans...this will make you puke the toxins out for sure
(posted by Rush)
I hate to admit it, but I was actually at this game...the 1996 Fiesta Bowl; I was a young, obnoxious 14 year-old talking noise to any Husker that would listen (not much has changed since then except that I am now 25). Tommie Frasier was on the brink of massive blood clotts, Lawerence Phillips had his typical pre-game ritual of raping eight 16-year olds and every single Nebraska receiver was popping a Lunesta, knowing they had about the same chance of catching a pass as Ray Charles did of seeing Pamela Anderson naked.
"Hey Ray baby, I know you want to open your eyes to see these."
This game also simultaneously epitomized everything that was great and awful about Steve Spurrier... HIS MOTHERFUCKING STUBBORNNESS. Steve was convinced that if Nebraska was determined to blitz, then there was no way the Huskers could cover 5 wideouts, thus leaving the backfield empty (the vaunted Tiger formation). After employing this tactic deep in his own territory and narrowly avoiding a safety (sacked at the 1), SOS ran the same damn play again and proceeded to get Ole' Danny pushed out of the endzone. This was when my tears started to flow.
Anyway, here is a clip from that dreadful evening... possibly the most embarrassing moment in Florida football history.
Tuesday, August 08, 2006
If you think Danny Ford is God, this is your proverbial wet dream come true
Danny Ford, the head coach who led Clemson to their one and only National title in 1981, is idolized by many in the Tiger community. A little less known fact is that he was the coach when Ohio State's Woody Hayes, the Ed Orgeron of the 70's, infamously decked Clemson guard Charlie Bauman in the face after the 1978 Gator Bowl clinching int.
"Just cause Woody hit some fucker, I'm supposed to be scared. That old school fruity pussy, I'll show him that the Orgeron eats nails and takes no prisoners."
Well, one Clemson grad and one Clemson student have started a blog in Ford's honor called Dannyfordisgod, and it is quite good I might add.
I am sure some SC fans have their own piece to chime in with as far as Ford is concerned, but that's what comments are for.
Thursday, August 03, 2006
Rhett Bomar and Peter Warrick Should Hang Out
(posted by Rush)
Well, if you've been living on Marklar for the last 48 hours, let us be the first to inform you that OU quarterback Rhett Bomar has been kicked off the team.
Bomar was either one hell of a salesman and is getting screwed, or just the second dumbest person in the world (Myles Brand) as he claimed, on his taxes nonetheless, that he made $18,000 in one summer at a car dealership while working only 5 hours per week. Unless he was moving Mazeratti's like a Krispy Kreme moves doughnuts to Charlie Weiss after a binge on the Atkins diet (we can't make fun of Phil Fumer everytime we reference high lipid quotient individuals) , we vote for the latter (I mean come on, dude is from Grand prairie).
Weis after finding out that what he thought was a mustard covered kielbasa was nothing more than an Atkins induced mirage and was actually a flag.
We only pray that after sitting out a couple of seasons, or going to Texas A&M...Commerce, that Bomar enters the NFL and gets drafted by the Seattle Seahawks. "Why?" you ask. Well, because it is the home of our favorite bargain shopper of all-time, Peter Warrick.
"P-Dub" knows where the discounts are at
Warrick who infamously parlayed $21.40 into over $400 worth of clothes at Dillards could team up with the ridiculously overpaid Bomar to do some serious damage to the party scene in the pacific northwest. When you're paid over 10 times your actual worth and your companion routinely gets 95% discounts, bitches, benji's, benzes and burban's will flow like water.
Please Mike Holmgren, for all that is corrupt and awesome, please draft Rhett.
Tuesday, August 01, 2006
For The Clemson Fans Who Hate The Cocks More Than Osama Bin Laden...
Don't Call It a Comeback!!!...We've Been Here For Years (...errr...months)
After a 2+ month hiatus, 6DB is back and back with a vengeance.
You can start to expect the regular 5-10 weekly posts again. The reason for the break was threefold.
1.) The offseason was getting just too damned frustrating; we had to get away from football...the torture of waiting for kickoff was killing us.
2.) The longer we waited to post, the more amazing we thought the next post had to be, thus making expectations impossible to reach. Rather than embrace this lofty goal, we simply took a break.
3.) Work.
To quote Paul Newman and his legendary portrayal of, "Fast Eddie Felson,"..."We're Back"
Wednesday, May 17, 2006
Why We Love College Football...Yet Again
(posted by Rush)
What is better than a drunk, redneck college football fan yelling at massive, ultra-athletic football players? Almost nothing...Manut Bol boxing Dustin Diamond, Bobby Bowden press conferences (for comedic purposes) and hearing the words, "I don't want a relationship either." are just a few that come to mind.
Let me set the stage for this one. Texas Tech has just defeated Oklahoma on the last play of the game. As to whether or not Taurean Henderson crossed the goaline for the winning touchdown was controversial, to say the least (Here is a summary of the game if you still can't recall it).
After the game, some reporters are trying to interview a few of the OU players when a drunk TT fan starts giving his piece. I want to invite this undoubtedlly jort wearing, mustache sporting, guy to my next tailgate...incredible.
"I paid to get into this game, so I can say whatever I want"
-RUSH
We Will Miss The Cool Chicken
(posted by Rush)
Cool Chicken Cool Chicken, where for art thou Cool Chicken?
Romeo stepped on his sword when he thought Juliet was dead. Did the Cool Chicken do the same, when he realized Spurrier's offense is antiquated and Blake Mitchell is Dutch for, "The next Anthony Wright"?
For those of you who never knew, don't recall or otherwise, the Cool Chicken is/was a Gamecock blogger. His blog is/was aesthetically pleasing, but nevertheless cloaked in bias, conjecture, hearsay, and other sorts of logical errors often perpetrated by 9 year olds.
In any event, his blog is now nowhere to be found. Here is what you will find at what used to be the cool chicken. Tasty, yes. More reliable, yes. As fun to make fun of...hell no.
Cool Chicken, we will miss you. We will especially miss our war of words that took place not more than two months ago (Click here and here to see our end of the argument...obviously, because his sight is down, you can not see what he wrote).
If you are alive, please let us know. Our world wouldn't be the same without you.
Collin Mcleod: This is For You
(posted by Rush)
First, sorry for the lack of postings lately. I was in Clemson for my cousin's graduation and would like to take a brief moment to thank the key-note speaker, Richard Manning, for delivering the world's shortest speech. Essentially, it went, "Congratulations on graduating. Raise the bar." I swear that is almost verbatim. It lasted one minute...Tops.
Anyway, to the point. Here is a video that is dedicated to my good friend Collin Mcleod. The poor bastard grew up as a die hard 'Nole in a world surrounded only by Gator fans. As he has spent the last six years in Talahassee (Hell is looking like a wonderful alternative to him at this point) and has one more to go before getting his law degree, I give him this...C-Mac, I hope you find refuge...God knows it kills me to put this on here (actually, besides the obvious fact that this clip is filled with Criminole highlights, it's pretty damn entertaining).
-RUSH
Wednesday, May 10, 2006
Spillergate a Hoax...We Fuckin' Told Ya
(posted by Rush...please write John Brasier, the moron who originally reported this story, and tell him how stupid he is at: brasierjd@andersonsc.com)
Surprise surprise sur-mother fucking-prise.
Shocking!!
Florida didn't break any NCAA rules by recruiting Spiller up until the final bell of Signing Day. As TigerPundit reports:
It turns out that star running back and Clemson signee C.J. Spiller was NOT being unduly influenced by University of Florida signee Tim Tebow on the eve of National Signing Day.
Turns out, the two friends were just watching "American Idol." So I guess we can call off the NCAA investigation of the University of Florida football program that Clemson coach Tommy Bowden and the crusading watchdog newspaper the Anderson Independent-Mail were calling for on Monday.
Why? Because it's already taken place. The Gators self-reported the issue and were cleared of any wrongdoing. As I predicted yesterday, Tebow was not sent by UF officials to persuade Spiller; he went on his own. In fact, Spiller asked Tebow to come for a visit.
Is this a Brokeback Mountain photo op? Come on, dude watches American Idol.
Don't believe me? Just ask Spiller. That's what this Gators fan site did. It went to about 200 percent more effort than the Anderson Independent-Mail, which apparently called the UF athletic office and spoke to SID Steve McClain, who told them that coach Urban Meyer was unavailable.
Maybe the intrepid Anderson Independent-Mail could have asked McClain about the Tebow situation, at which point McClain could have transferred the call to Florida's NCAA compliance director James McCloskey (no relation to Gator McKluskey).
That would be the same James McCloskey who is quoted here and here as saying the matter was self-reported to the SEC and is basically a non-issue.
Why did anyone bother to investigate this? All that had to be done was a quick overview of this blog. Here was our initial summation when the Anderson Independent erroneously reported the story:
...We also don't think the reporter was played like a puppet; we believe John Brasier, the voracious, thorough sleuth in question is to lazy what Corky From Life Goes On is to intelligence.
John, you languorous son of a bitch, why don't you actually do some reporting. You know, fact check, confirm sources...maybe even get a quote. No, instead you spout some useless, ambiguous, vague drivel accusing a Head Coach of cheating.
Once again, the blogosphere appears to be one step ahead of the actual paid media; John Brasier is a bastard. Please contact Ole' Johnny and bitch at brasierjd@andersonsc.com
-Rush