Wednesday, March 08, 2006

You might be a Gamecock if...

(Posted by: Wayne and edited by Rush)

It is with fair certainty that I say that while the three teams represented on this blog are divided on almost every issue, we stand united in our hatred for the Gamecocks and their entire fan base. With no further ado: U might be a Gamecock if...

-If the best season your school has ever had involves a loss to Navy.

"After running for 320 on South Carolina, I bitch slapped Lou Holtz and gave him that stutter."

-If your rival has a 30+ winning advantage in the series and you STILL think your program is on more solid ground.
-If your program can take two coaches that won national championships elsewhere(Dietzel and Holtz) and turn them into losers.
-If the ancient past begins right after a loss.
-If you can argue that your team is much better than your rival ten ways to Sunday in every category but the score (and believe it).
-If you borrowed your entrance song from a movie and borrowed your fog-filled run onto the field from another program, and have the audacity to claim yourself as the REAL USC.
-If you can't say "Steve Spurrier" without bowing you head in awe of the greatness that is the man.


yummy...Steve Spurrier flavored Kool-aide...my favorite kind

-If someone substituted Steve Spurrier with Chuck Norris in the hilarious thread making the rounds, and you said "now THAT makes much more sense."
-If you think Lou Holtz is a great college football analyst and is putting Mark May and Rece Davis to shame (which isn't that hard to do because those guys have about as much insight as the USA TODAY... but being able to speak is a fair pre-requisite to be a TV ANNOUNCER).
-If you think that your ex-coach leaving five separate programs on probation"isn't really a trend...just coincidental."
-If you consider a two-year run of bowl victories the "glory years."
-If your first bowl win EVER came in the era of corporate sponsorship and was named after an auto parts store and wasn't named simply after a fruit, a fabric, a sweetener or a flower.


After beating West Virginia in the Carquest Bowl, the Cocks followed up by winning the Toilet Bowl the next year

-If your team ranks 89th out of 117 in all time winning percentage and you still think you have a "storied program."
-If you continually argue how good your conference is when you have done nothing to contribute to it.
-If you argue how weak the ACC is even when you have an all-time winning record against only one of the teams.
-If the score of a game is only one of five indicators you use to decide who has the better team, behind conference affiliation, your coach's past success, the number of fans you put in the stands, and where you rank in recruiting.
-If your fight song is appropriately titled "Step to the Rear."
-If you can't spell SEC.

And of course,If you never grow tired of saying "wait 'til next year," you could be a Gamecock.

-Wayne

Posted by Rush @ 9:36 AM